While mental health challenges affect both men and women, the way they manifest — and how
individuals respond to them — often differs. Statistically, men are far less likely to seek help when
they are struggling. The first step — visiting a doctor, or reaching out for counselling or therapy —
frequently does not happen. Many men continue to struggle in silence.
They may withdraw, become irritable or angry, drink more heavily, or show signs of depression or
anhedonia (the inability to experience pleasure). They may have trouble sleeping or, conversely,
sleep excessively. Alarmingly, suicide rates among men remain significantly higher than those
among women, accounting for 75–80% of all suicides. For men under the age of 50, suicide is the
leading cause of death.
Although struggling with mental health does not always lead to suicidal thoughts, these figures
highlight a troubling reality: men are in distress, yet far too few are seeking or receiving support.
The Reluctance to Seek Help
Men’s hesitation to seek help extends beyond mental health — many avoid medical professionals
for physical concerns as well. They are often reluctant to consult a physician, chiropractor,
nutritionist, or pharmacist, preferring instead to “push through” discomfort or illness.
This reluctance is shaped largely by societal expectations. From an early age, boys are taught —
implicitly and explicitly — to be strong, stoic, and self-reliant. For many, expressing vulnerability
feels uncomfortable or even shameful. The idea of asking for help, especially emotional help,
clashes with long-standing ideals of masculinity: being the provider, the problem-solver, the
dependable one.
Even in a modern context — where more male role models, including athletes and public figures,
speak openly about their mental health — many men still believe that showing emotion or admitting
struggle equates to weakness. They fear being judged as “less masculine.”
As a society, we have a collective responsibility to challenge these outdated narratives. We must
normalise emotional honesty, vulnerability, and self-reflection — not as weaknesses, but as
strengths. Men deserve the same permission and support to seek therapy, develop self-awareness,
and heal as anyone else.
Why Some Men Prefer Male Therapists
In my own practice, around 60% of my clients are men — a figure that has remained consistent
over the years. At first glance, this might suggest that men are increasingly open to seeking help.
However, the reality is more nuanced.
Many men choose to work with me specifically because I am a male therapist. They often express
that they feel more comfortable talking to another man, believing that a female therapist might not
fully understand their perspective or experiences. Many of my female colleagues report having very
few male clients on their caseloads.
This highlights another misconception — that only a male therapist can effectively support a male
client. In truth, skilled therapists of any gender can provide deep understanding, empathy, and
guidance. Still, personal preference plays an important role, and for some men, beginning therapy
with a male practitioner may simply feel like a safer first step.
Depression and Other Hidden Struggles
One of the most common mental health challenges men face is depression — often accompanied
by alcohol misuse or substance abuse. Common symptoms include fatigue, loss of motivation, low
libido, appetite changes, and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction.
Despite being highly treatable, depression in men frequently goes undiagnosed. Many men mask
their symptoms behind a façade of normalcy, continuing to “soldier on” as though nothing is wrong.
Over time, this unaddressed pain festers beneath the surface, leading to deeper emotional and
behavioural consequences.
This pattern of masking extends to other mental health conditions as well — including anxiety,
burnout, trauma, and unresolved grief. The ability to suppress emotion, while sometimes adaptive in
the short term, often prevents men from accessing the help that could truly make a difference.
A Holistic Path to Recovery
Improving mental health is rarely about one single change. Therapy or counselling is often a
powerful starting point, but the best outcomes occur when it is combined with a holistic approach
— incorporating physical activity, nutrition, adequate sleep, and healthy social connections.
Even small changes, such as regular exercise, mindful breathing, or establishing a consistent sleep
routine, can improve resilience and overall wellbeing. These practices work synergistically with
therapy to create long-lasting benefits.
What Men Tend to Prefer in Therapy
In general, men tend to favour therapeutic approaches that feel practical and structured. They
often ask for concrete tools, techniques, or strategies to manage their symptoms — preferring
solutions that are measurable and action-oriented.
This “problem-solving” mindset is not inherently negative; it can be harnessed effectively within
therapy. However, genuine healing also requires courage — the willingness to explore the deeper
emotional roots of one’s struggles. While techniques may offer short-term relief, true and lasting
change comes from understanding and addressing the underlying causes.
Changing Attitudes and Looking Ahead
Fortunately, attitudes towards men’s mental health are evolving. Increasingly, men are speaking
publicly about their experiences with depression, anxiety, addiction, and trauma. Younger
generations, in particular, appear more comfortable expressing vulnerability and prioritising
emotional wellbeing.
Social media, despite its flaws, has also contributed positively to this cultural shift. Online platforms
— from blogs and vlogs to podcasts and community forums — allow men to learn, share, and
connect in safe and often anonymous ways.
Community-based initiatives have been instrumental as well. In the UK, Andy’s Man Club
operates more than 200 free support groups for men across the country. In Australia, the Men’s
Shed Association supports over 1,200 local initiatives focused on men’s wellbeing. These
grassroots movements are helping to redefine masculinity — replacing silence and stoicism with
honesty, courage, and connection.
A New Understanding of Strength
The tide is slowly turning. Society is becoming more accepting of emotional openness, and men are
becoming more confident in acknowledging their needs. More men are realising that mental health
care — whether through therapy, support groups, or self-help — is not a sign of weakness but of
strength and self-awareness.
It takes courage to say, “I’m not okay.” It takes even more courage to do something about it.
When men recognise that vulnerability and authenticity are integral to true resilience, we move one
step closer to a world where mental health is not defined by gender, but by shared humanity.